The 5 stages of PMS

Yes, I know, this is my second blog post about it, but I have to say my life totally changed after I started tracking my periods and those of any woman I lived with. I highly reccommend doing it you don't already.

Ok, the five stages, not in strict order:

Stage 1, Mild disaffect: You want to be alone. A lot of people don't understand this: it's not that a woman is particularly moody when she's about to get her period, she just wants to be left alone. So, leave her alone!

Stage 2, Indiscriminate hunger: The one day in the month where you seem to be able to do nothing but eat. Here's a secret: Reese's dark chocolate peanut butter cups. Sugar, salt, fat, carbs and chocolate, all in one efficient little package. That, folks, is period food.

Stage 3, Unexplained/unjustified/baffling sadness: Grab some tissues, because that prostate medication commercial really was quite moving.

Stage 4, Not-quite-so-mild disaffect: Accompanied by cramps, bloating, and feeling like a walking blood blister.

Stage 5, Relief(?): You bleed. Sometimes a lot. For days. And, because this happening signals an end to stages 1-4, you think this is FANTASTIC!